When I start thinking about the stupid COVID-19 pandemic, there are a few positives that come out of the lockdowns and general panic that occurred. Most things are bad I agree, but there are some good things.
First off, I think there has been an understanding that had been growing, but lept forward during lockdown and beyond, about the importance of a person’s job. Yes, money is important to live. But how much do you really need? I do come from a place where I almost own my home and California has become so hard to reside in. But, how much is needed? Why do people need 3000+ square foot homes? All granite and stainless steel? I have a comfortable home where I don’t have to worry about the kids breaking things I can’t afford to fix. It makes me crazy sad to see the working poor priced out of crappy housing because of greed. How much does a landlord have to make? Crazy making , I tell you! As a child who lived in apartments and heard my parents voice concerns about making rent, it is a hard reality to swallow. So yes, there needs to be enough money to put a roof over your family’s head.
And food – sadly one of the budget items in a family’s plan has to be food which has skyrocketed in cost this past year. You need to make enough money to feed your family. Do you need steak, and fresh fish…and eggs these days? It is hard to make the time to make meals but we used to do that together- it was family time. Did we occasionally have sandwiches, or breakfast, for dinner? You bet. And so much pasta and pinto beans. And homemade soup. All cheap to make. Much, much cheaper and healthier than eating out. But that takes time and a commitment to the family. Maybe no me time today, so we do that tomorrow.
All of these types of concerns are not new to 2020 and beyond. People have worried about housing and food, their jobs and children, forever. The isolation that occurred during the pandemic made it harder to release that anxiety. People may live far away from their comfort cohort, and could not travel to see family and friends. So many divorces as people realized they did not like their spouse. Especially not 24/7. And those who were “essential” and had to go out, became terrified of bringing the virus home. No one wants to be the one that infects Grandma, or the kids, or a sick spouse. So yes, lots of anxiety.
But a good thing did come out of this. People are realizing what is truly important to them. Maybe not everyone, but many more people are acknowledging their anxiety and learning ways to deal with it. What can I do to change my perceptions about everything I need to do today?People are understanding that controlling what we can in our lives, can decrease our levels of anxiety. And so many more people are understanding that mental health is a disease, and there are things that can help. There is a difference between being super stressed at this moment, and being unable to deal with the stress. Mental health has come out of the closet. I was often criticized talking about my mother and her mental health issues while growing up and then after she died, when I was at UCD. Chronic severe depression, followed later by schizophrenia. She was doing OK until the mental health hospitals closed under Reagan and she suddenly had to figure out how to survive on her own. With limited funds. She managed to keep a job at Lane Bryant working about 20 hours a week, but that was hard for her, and definitely not enough money. She qualified for SSI but that combined with her job wasn’t enough. So she had roommates who left after she’d have an episode. Or she’d lose the apartment during her hospitalizations. A major part of my life that I didn’t talk about unless I felt speaking up was needed. I speak up more and more these days. She couldn’t control her life without her medications but felt that people looked down on her for those medications that helped her keep control.
Now I feel that society understands the need to talk about mental health. Fewer people hide from discussing mental health in general, even a family member who has issues. And suicides after someone decides they have had enough. Too many suicides. So we are talking, and slowly people are accepting that medication for “brain problems” could work. But often those are hard to find and figure out for an individual. It takes time while a person is in crisis. We can start with talking however, and supporting not only the sufferer, but also their family. It is hard on everyone when someone has mental health issues. We can start by bringing out into the open when someone dies by suicide, when someone is underperforming at their job because they are too “sad” to function today, and when their life is spiraling out of control. Your family member and your family are not alone! Social media seems to overly encourage “sharing of feelings,” so we as the audience need to evaluate who needs true help, and who just needs a little attention today. Anxiety is a part of life and always has been; we can help others and ourselves start gaining control over whatever parts of our life we can control. And figure out what is really important. It means even me, as introverted as I like to be, can reach out to others. And maybe before they can feel the need to reach out for me.
988 the new nation-wide suicide prevention hotline number!